


A Long Way From Home, Just to Die

by King_Ralus



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Adopted Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), How Do I Tag, I swear to you no one in this is a good person, It’s urban fantasy the same way canon is, Mmmm I’m personifying technos chat into the people who watch his battles, My First AO3 Post, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), The violence isn’t graphic at all, Urban Fantasy, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, but they are the one healthy relationship in this whole thing, i tagged it that to be on the safe side, its more semi urban fantasy but whatever, other than like bbh but he’s only around like twice, ranboo just gets the shit kicked out of him in Knight training, skeppy and bad appear very rarely, where it’s only urban when the characters need it to be for plot purposes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:47:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Ralus/pseuds/King_Ralus
Summary: King Philza has been looking for stronger, faster, and more, compact, knights, and found at peak performance, an Endereian is all of those things compared to a human...But since not all Endereians are at peak performance, he’ll have to test them before that can enter his private guard.Of course a certain, main character, hybrid is the first to complete the test with flying colors, why wouldn’t he be?
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), No Romantic Relationship(s), Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch, no healthy ones
Comments: 1
Kudos: 81





	1. A Fight For The History Books

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, wowie, uhm, been sitting on this for a while, don’t mind me. 
> 
> Feel free to point out any grammatical or spelling errors, and enjoy my unraveling :)

“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!” The crowd shouted as Ranboo was shoved into the pit. He’d been brought from the Ender Settlement as fodder for the creature in front of him.  
He felt small in comparison to the man, or, the beast? It was a Piglin, so naturally, it was built like a truck and could hit like one too. Ranboo on the other hand, was just some Enderman hybrid kid with no muscle and an aversion to people looking at him.  
There were, unsurprisingly, a lot of people looking at him at the moment, it gave him a headache, and he just wanted it to be over with. He glanced over at his choices for weapons, nothing he was exactly used to but he didn’t have a chance to survive unless he chose, so he grabbed a one-handed sword and a rectangular shield and braced for the Piglin’s eventual charge. He’d watched these fights on the T.V in the train station back home whenever they were on, so he knew The Blood God would start with a charge then a swing from above with its ax.  
He heard the hooves and winced as he waited for and subsequently heard and felt the ax hit. The Blood God leaned to the left, which meant it’d try to use a wide swing with its sword, so Ranboo held his shield longways to block it.  
This pattern continued for several minutes, Ranboo watching its movements and blocking its, very predictable, attacks. Finally Ranboo swung for the first time, taking advantage while it was distracted, the same way it always was when it swapped out its sword for a shield. Ranboo’s slash made a sizable gash in his opponent’s arm, and it honestly, looked surprised, not surprised enough to stop attacking, but surprised nonetheless.  
Ranboo, had gotten less afraid as the fight went on, and began swinging his sword more often, slowly but surely he and The Blood God had both lost their stamina, and when the elder had paused to breathe Ranboo swung again, this time with his shield, to knock the pig to the ground, and consider the dual a win on his part. The hit wasn’t quite flawless, but The Blood God wobbled and slipped to the ground, as it did, its eyes went wide. Though the expression quickly fell back to neutral as it rose from the ground and took slow, calculated steps towards the Hybrid it had been fighting. It got dangerously close, then to his surprise grasped Ranboo’s hand, and held it above their heads.  
“MY CHAMPION!” Its voice boomed, as the audience roared with cheers and applause the same way they did when The Blood God killed a man  
“What?” He whispered, trying to understand what The Blood God was doing.  
“I’ll tell you later.” It’d whispered to Ranboo, this was the first time Ranboo had heard him speak in anything other than Piglinese, let alone at any volume level other than a yell.


	2. He'd Die, If He Wasn't a Nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we continue  
> (as always feel free to point out dramatically and spelling mistakes you may find)

“So what did you mean by, Champion?” Ranboo asked as he followed the pig down the long castle halls.  
“It’s a reeaally long story, the King’ll tell you when we get to him.”  
“We’re seeing King Philza?”  
“Yep.”  
“Cool,” they walked a little while longer before Ranboo built up the courage to speak again, “D-Did I win?”  
“You won.” It said with a chuckle, as it glanced at Ranboo, who’d begun emitting Ender Particles, “Are you, okay?”  
“Not really, I mean, I’ve been watching you fight for like, years, I’m sure it’s not anywhere near how long you’ve been fighting, but you’ve been one of my heroes for a really long time and-“  
“How long have you been watching my fights?”  
“Like eight years?”  
“That’s about as long as they’ve been being televised.”  
“Wait, really?”  
“Yeah, you’ve been watching me since I was 14, huh, I guess that’s why you were able to counter all my attacks.”  
“Yeah,” Ranboo smiled as he thought back to before he was taken, he’d make money predicting what The Blood God would do next, his friends would bet he’d be wrong, but he never was. “Wait, you’re only 22?”  
“Yeah, it’s weird isn’t it?”  
“It is, it’s really weird. From your skill level, and like, the scarring on your face and hands, I assumed you were much older.”  
“Nope, just a child soldier.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, I fought for King Philza in the Antarctic Empire-Dream SMP war when I was ten. I didn’t have my father’s permission but the king saw how good I was at fighting and had me trained properly, and now I’m here.”  
“Blood God backstory? Pog.”  
“Are you, like, a nerd or something?”  
“Kinda.” He chuckled a little, but received silence, as The Blood God stopped in his tracks. “Is something wrong?”  
“We’re here.” He straightened his back and corrected his glasses, “Be respectful. He’s likely to recruit you, and if he likes you enough, since you’re still a kid, he’ll probably adopt you.” Ranboo straightened his posture and stared at the door as The Blood God pushed it open.  
“That was quite the show Blade.” A harpy said as the pair entered the room he’d been lounging in.  
“I tried my hardest sir, he seems to be the only Enderman in the world who actually watched the broadcasts of my fights.” Ranboo was irked at the use of ‘Enderman’ but stayed silent nonetheless.  
“What?”  
“He’s been watching my fights since I was a teenager, he knows exactly what I’m going to do before I do it.”  
“Really?” He looked to Ranboo, “Care to share some of your knowledge with us?”  
“Oh, I mean it’s nothing extraordinary, I’m sure you’ve all noticed the same thing.” He gestures to the group in front of him, the harpy, who was noticeably older than the others, a fox hybrid, who was the tallest of the three, and an albino raccoon hybrid who’d sat silently, and completely still for the entirety of the time Ranboo spent in this room, both of the latter wore armor bearing the kingdom's flag and the royal families insignia, hoping at least one of them would speak before he had to continue, “like how before an ax swing from above he takes two steps back then runs forward, he always starts the fight with a charge and an ax swing, and for all other charges, the weapon he uses changes depending on which way he leans, or when he switched to his shield he’s sure he’ll win, you can tell he’s faking a swing by the eyebrow he cocks-“  
“You saw all of that, from Ender Settlement television broadcasting.” The fox cut him off, thoroughly surprised at the detail with which Ranboo knew The Blood God’s movements.  
“Yeah, they’re just a little bit obvious that’s why I thought you’d have known.”  
“I knew like two of those, but that’s just cause we used to be sparring partners.” He said as he leaned back in his seat to look at The Blood God who had taken his place standing directly behind him, “I didn’t think you still did that Bladey-Pooh.”  
“Wil, if I’m bein’ honest, I didn’t think I did any of those things.” His faux-respectful demeanor cracking as he spoke to the fox.  
“Is your name, Blade?” Ranboo looked between the knights,  
“Oh, you must be confused, let me introduce myself,” the bird stood and bowed slightly, “I’m King Philza, I know it seems morbid, but these “fights” are to find the strongest of The Empire’s citizens, and that includes your home, the settlement.”  
“So you’ve been killing people senselessly, to find out who’s strongest? Also, why are you a harpy? And does that mean Blood God is your high knight Blade?”  
“I get the harpy question a lot, we’re shapeshifters, and forms like this make it easier to attend these events. As for killing, finding the strong isn’t just for the sake of it. I can’t explain it all now, there are unwanted ears to close by to explain it all in detail.”  
“I’d like an in detail explanation, as soon as possible, you’ve killed my friends and if they died in vain then I’ll have to refuse to stay here.”  
“The most I can say right now is that it has to do with a curse and the high sorcerer of The Greater Dream SMP.”  
“I-“  
“Now, we’ll need to sort a few things out, you’ll need a more human look to fit in in The Empire, and you’ll have to be fitted for clothes and armor for-“ he watched as Ranboo shapeshifted to look human, “For both forms, I guess. Blade, who’s the smith you know?”  
“That’d be Halo Badbouy, down in Badlands.”  
“Right, and his husband is a tailor?”  
“That is correct sir.”  
“Alright, take,” he paused and thought for a second, “I never asked your name.”  
“Ranboo, sir.”  
“Right, Blade, take Ranboo down to them in Badlands and have both forms fitted for armor, the Ender form for knight’s armor, human for princely armor, and an empire uniform for both. Have both fitted for clothes and have his measurements sent to all of the Royal tailors. And have their toolmaker friend make him a full set of tools.”  
“Yes sir.”  
“But be discreet, and get him some clothes for the ride, that aren’t, that.” He sneered slightly as he gestured to the ill-fitting rags Ranboo was dressed in.  
“C’mon, we’ll head to the changing rooms and I’ll give you something to wear.” Blade showed him back out, then down where they came from. “You’ll get prepped for fights in that room, so you can change in there.” He mumbled as he tossed a clean button-down, and fitted pleather pants to the teenager. “Your boots can stay, but we’ll get you new ones while we’re in Badlands.”  
“What is Badlands, by the way?” Ranboo asked as he walked towards the door,  
“It’s a mostly empty town just northeast of L’Manburg.”  
“And what is L’Manburg?”  
“The city you’re in, the capital of The Antarctic Empire.”  
“Oh, okay, also why do you have pants for a hu-” he intended to continue, but Blade shoved him into the room that was apparently his and shut the door. When he came back out the beast he’d been walking with was much smaller, and much less beastly. He'd changed out of arena wear and into and into his royal uniform.


End file.
